Here is a list of 50 funny proverbs that I liked most -
{Proverb : a short sentence based on long experience }
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As long as your mistakes are new ones you can argue that you are making progress.
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Do not insult the mother alligator until after you have crossed the river. (Haitian)
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Everyone loves justice in the affairs of others. (Italian)
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Experience is a comb nature gives to men when they are bald. (Eastern)
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Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes directly from bad judgment.
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He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame.
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If at first you don’t succeed, parachuting is not the sport for you.
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If you really want to do something, you’ll find a way; if you don’t, you’ll find an excuse.
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Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and you cry alone. It’s called fair-weathered.
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Mediocrity has certain attractions; it’s much less demanding than success.
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Sex is like air: it’s not important unless you aren’t getting any.
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Sometimes the light at the end of the tunnel really is an oncoming train.
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Sometimes you’re the pigeon, sometimes you’re the statue.
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Too many cooks spoil the broth. Let someone else prepare dinner.
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When the mouse laughs at the cat, there is a hole nearby. (Nigeria)
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Virtue is its own reward. But it’s also very boring.
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Diplomacy is the art of saying “nice doggie”, whilst looking for a bigger stick.
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Doctors clean the body, ministers the conscience, and lawyers the purse. (German)
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It is better to exist unknown to the law and lawyers. (Irish)
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Politicians are like diapers and need to be changed for the same reason.
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When God wanted to punish man He invented lawyers. (Russian)
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Make sure you are not irreplaceable: if you can’t be replaced, you can’t be promoted.
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Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
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He who drinks on credit will get drunk twice. (Serbian)
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Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit about in a boat and guzzle beer all day.
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Age is a high price to pay for maturity.
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By the time you are old enough to appreciate your parents you will have children of your own who take you for granted.
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The secret of immortality is living a life worth remembering.
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Anger is the outcome of the tongue working faster than the brain.
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Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. (Then when you do criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.)
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The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits.
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The tongue weighs relatively nothing, but so few people can hold it.
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Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
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Never underestimate the power of stupid people in big groups.
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It’s not the size of the dog in the fight that matters, it’s the size of the fight in the dog!
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Minds are likeparachutes: they only work when open.
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If you believe everything you read, better not read.
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If you think no-one cares whether you’re dead or alive, try missing a couple of mortgage payments.
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Take risks: if you win, you will be happy; if you don’t you will be wise.
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Love your neighbours, but don’t pull down the fence.
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When your enemy falls, don’t rejoice. But don’t pick him up either.
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Yes, forgive your enemies whenever you can, but always remember their names.
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As the best wine makes the sharpest vinegar, so can the truest lover turn into the worst enemy.
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Fortune is like a woman: If you neglect her today, do not expect to regain her tomorrow.
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There are two theories about arguing with women. neither works.
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A man is a person who takes out the rubbish, then makes out he has just cleaned the house.
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If you want to be criticized, get married. (Irish)
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Never marry for money; you will borrow it cheaper. (Scottish)
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Better the devil you know than the devil you don’t. (English)
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We are all equal in the eyes of God and bus drivers. (German)
If you liked those you will find more on a book “The Worlds funniest proverbs“ by James Alexander Published in 2007 ISBN 978-1-906051-07-5
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